a colored spectrum

cowardice

last Christmas i gave you a blessing.
a blessing that will help you pass through tricky business out there in the wilderness.
i hope you bring it along with you whenever you go on trips. i want you home safely.

i have a vague idea what i want to give you for this Christmas.
but if you get it before Christmas comes,
then i guess i will have to go to Vatican for something more rare...
i just want you to know that i care alot about you.

oh! watched Miss Congeniality 2 with Doggie today!
so hilarious! sandra bullock is a damn joker. plus the polt was interesting so lotsa laughs!
ate so much popcorn till i was suffering from sugar high.
Doggie ate a terrible Ben & Jerry's ice cream of an unknown flavor. huggies my poor pooch.

Eileen said "life is a bed of roses. mine is exceptionally thorny".
she is such a pathetic worm!
when was life a bed of roses?
if it was, none of us need to study, find jobs or work! asshole!
and stop wallowing in self-pity!
everyone has their own small crosses to bear, trials to overcome and faith to be tested...

Don says i make him happy whenever i listen to his problems sometimes.
well... i don't understand his situation thou. about playing office politics etc.
but i am glad to alwiz be there as a friend to offer support =)

why ain't people happy with what they are already blessed with?
why do they seek things they cannot have?
why do people lack the guts and courage to say 'I Love You"?
why do people have no bravery to accept the truth?
why do people only want to hear and see things they selectively want to see or hear?

i find myself in the same position as Peter when he first walked into the empty tomb.
Peter boasted about loyalty and love towards Jesus. but during the last hours,
Peter denied Jesus and brought him to a terrible end.
Peter was guilty of betraying Jesus and being a coward.
would the Risen Christ be gracious enough to look not upon Peter's sins and grant him forgiveness? and take Peter back into His discipleship with love?

i find myself a coward. as much as i proclaim to "wanna be me... live life fully".
i have no guts to pursue my happiness nor confront my own doubts and fears.
i am a coward. i am a clam that won't open up.
then i will never find the pearl that i am looking for.

posted by Veen @ 23:00